You’ve been giving this a lot of thought. You’re starting your senior (or junior) year and you just aren’t sure college is the next step for you. You want to travel, work, explore, and take the time to find yourself. But everyone else is going to college and your family has supported you through all your schooling and extracurriculars with the expectation that college is the next step. You want to make them proud but making a commitment to at least four more years of school does not seem right at this time. You’ve already started exploring other options and think that taking a gap year may be right for you.
First off, congratulations! You are showing self-awareness and maturity by trusting your gut and recognizing that the conventional path may not be best for you. The next step is talking to your parents. You might be a bit nervous that they won’t understand or won’t support this nontraditional idea. It will be important for you to come to this conversation with resources and a clear explanation of why you want to take a gap year.
Here are some helpful points to get you ready for that conversation:
Know Your Reasons
Perhaps most important in this process is why you want to take a gap year in the first place. More and more U.S. high school students are choosing to delay college or a career in order to spend a year pursuing other interests, not because they are uninterested in learning. Some students don’t feel ready to commit to four more years of schooling or don’t yet know what they want to study. In our competitive academic culture, many high school students are burnt out by the time they reach graduation and are looking for an opportunity to learn and grow in a hands-on environment. Other students may be drawn to gap year programs by a gut feeling, knowing that they prefer learning experientially. Any of these reasons are valid and deserve to be recognized and supported. The key is being able to concisely verbalize your thought process to help your loved ones understand where you are coming from.
Do Your Research
Gap years are common throughout Europe and Australia but have only become popular in the United States in the last decade. You and your family may not know anyone who has taken a gap year and it may be an entirely new concept to your parents. By sitting down and doing some intentional research, you will enter the conversation with knowledge, statistics, and stories that will help your parents understand what you are proposing.
A simple Google search of “gap year programs” will give you 10+ pages of links to programs, forums, blogs, and news articles. This can be overwhelming. To get started, check out The Gap Year Association, GoOverseas, or GoAbroad, these websites provide overviews of many program providers and offer advice on how to choose the best program for you. Making an appointment at your school’s College and Career Center could also be a good first step in your research process. If you’re applying to college at the same time, or have already been accepted, check-in with the college’s Admissions Office to make sure you are following their deferral protocol as it is different for each school. Some schools have started offering financial aid for gap years or have a gap program of their own, which you can learn more about through your college.
Provide Resources
You’ve done your research, now share it with your parents. Let them know that you have a proposal for them and block off plenty of uninterrupted time. They will want to see which programs you are looking at, where you will visit, what you’ll be doing, who you’ll be traveling with, and of course, how much it will cost. By getting this information together beforehand, you will demonstrate both your maturity and your level of commitment to your gap year plan. This is also the time to present them with statistics about the benefits of a gap year and how many top universities support and encourage it. The price of an organized program is often the biggest hurdle for applicants so most programs provide a financial aid application process and additional links to scholarship opportunities.
Consider Their Side
You can come prepared with all the research and reasons and your parents will still have questions. Common worries are that you won’t ever go to college, that you will be academically behind, that you simply want to party and travel aimlessly, or that this will be too financially taxing. These are legitimate concerns and it’s best to respond with patience, understanding, and an open mind. They might not jump on board right away. You might not be able to answer all of their questions at that moment and they may want to do their own research as a supplement to yours. Allow them to share their thoughts uninterrupted and then give them time and space to get their head around what might be a brand new idea. Demonstrating your maturity can only help your cause!
Keep Them Involved
Make this a family process! Whether or not your parents are able to support this plan financially, include them in the discovery and application process. Create a timeline of what needs to be done and schedule in time to sit down together to keep everyone on the same page. Some steps will require parental involvement and it’s best not to spring a deadline or an interview on them at the last minute.
Ask Questions
Your family may need some time to get on board with this new plan of yours, especially if previous conversations had been focused on college after graduation. But if you start early, and come in having done your research, you are setting yourself up for a more productive conversation. If you have a particular program in mind, look for options to speak with someone on staff so you and your family can ask questions. Most companies have alumni students and family that you can reach out to to get a first-person perspective about the experience. Having a conversation with a program director, recruitment coordinator, or alumni is a great way to learn more and get your questions answered!
ARCC Gap Directors (415-332-5075 ext 200) are available to answer your questions and support you as your Gap plans develop. Our Financial Assistance and College Credit pages are an additional resource in this process.